


Heartbeats

by AngryPirateHusbands



Series: Bring About the Tides of Change [2]
Category: Black Sails
Genre: Developing Relationship, Everyone Is Gay, Fluid Sexuality, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Masturbation, Slow Build, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-08-28 10:18:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8441917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngryPirateHusbands/pseuds/AngryPirateHusbands
Summary: Billy finally acknowledges his feelings for Ben Gunn.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [OnlyOneWoman](https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnlyOneWoman/gifts).



Billy didn't recall leaving Nassau. He didn't remember skirting past any and all attempts by the men for conversation, nor how he rowed himself back to the comfort of the _Walrus_ with an ease most didn't know. Instead he simply remembered that look on Ben's features as he had looked over at him, and how the bustling chatter and noise of the brothel dissipated far into the distance behind his hurried steps. Billy laid now in his hammock within the hold, palms clasped over his face as he once again tried to stave off those unwelcome thoughts. Try as he might to focus on the comforting silence, the creaking if the ship and the gentle waves that lapped at its sides, his mind could not be calmed. The moment he dropped his guard his thoughts drew to _him_. Once more that heat spread through his chest down to his belly, but now it was different. There was a weight to it. Jealously, perhaps?

He couldn't pretend that the sight of those women touching Ben, though intriguing in its own right, drove him made. All he could think of was how he wished it was his hands on him. How it was his fingers that traced the contours of his muscles, running along his ribs before sliding lower to dip beneath his naval. Billy marveled at the image of it, the feel. Before long his own hand had slipped into his breeches. He palmed his hardening length, a low hiss passing his lips as his thoughts remained focused on Ben. Of the warmth beneath his skin, the taste of his lips and tongue. He wondered how soft that mouth would be, how wet and hot as he explored every inch with his tongue. What it would be like to bury his face in the light brown hair that slipped past Ben's shoulders. As he continued to stroke himself he imagined what unique scent the man would have. Gunpowder and saltwater, perhaps. Or sunshine.

Billy's breath began to grow hitched as he imagined his hand stroking over Ben's own length. How the weight would feel on his hand. Maybe on his tongue. How the tight heat of his body would swallow him hole, engulfing his own cock inch by inch as he lay spread beneath him. The sweat that would cling to both their bodies until finally Ben's form tightened around him and they would both release with panting breaths and strangled moans. When Billy came he did so with teeth biting down into his lower lip. He lay still for several moments after that. The canvas of the hammock that hugged his body felt far too hot right now. Once his breaths slowed he dared to look down at the mess of white that coated his palm. Vaguely he wondered when exactly this had happened. When had he changed? Being free from these feelings, these urges, had always made his life so easy. But now... This longing he felt was too visceral. He ached for the man, mind and all. As this realization washed over him he felt more conflicted than he had in years. And, if he was being perfectly honest with himself, a tad bit nauseous.

* * *

 

"You've been avoiding me."

That familiar voice coaxed Billy from his thoughts. "Beg pardon?"

"This past week," Ben clarified. He leaned against the railing and glanced over at the bosun. Confusion and perhaps even concern shaded his expression. "Care to tell me why?"

Suddenly at a loss for words, Billy could only manage a feint shake of his head in response. While the _Walrus_ was still in port, they were making preparations to set sail back to Maroon Island any day now. As such, he had all but thrown himself into any and all work that needed to be done aboard the ship. The busier he was the easier he could quell the thoughts of Ben that shifted through his mind throughout the day. Or at least attempt to. He surmised he shouldn't be too shocked that his persistent attempts at evasion would be lost on the man. But now that man had him cornered, and what's worse he wanted an explanation. A tongue slid out to wet his lips before speaking.

"You know why."

Ben hummed in apparent dissatisfaction at his response. "I don't believe I do," he countered.

"I saw you... at the brothel."

"And seeing me half naked somehow warrants treating me like a leper?" When Billy met that gaze an eyebrow was quirked. Once more his mouth had quickly gone dry and he found himself staring. Studying the details of his face with such care it was as if he planned to never see him again. When those eyebrows drew together and his head gave a slight tilt, Billy forced his gaze aside. "Why," Ben continued, "Did you not like what you saw?"

Despite the teasing tone of voice, Billy quickly felt the heat surge into his face and neck. "I have to speak with the captain," he managed just as he turned on his heel and stalked away. He obviously didn't, their plans were clear cut enough for the next few days, but he needed to leave now before he let slip something he shouldn't. Billy didn't even attempt to humor his own charade, for when he came to the captain's cabin he moved right past it and instead disappeared down the ladder to the hold. All the while he could feel Ben's eyes fixed on the center of his back.

* * *

 

Billy had never been one to partake in drinking heavily, but tonight he made an exception. The following morning they would be heading back to the island, and so the crew saw fit to throw one last whiskey fueled gathering before the weight of responsibility was once again upon their shoulders. This time the main deck of the <I>Walrus</I> was the spot of choice. He figured it was so that no one would be left behind if incapacitated by a particularly nasty hangover tomorrow. Even so, it was truly a sight. Lanterns lit the expanses of the ship in a warm, welcoming glow, and the air was alight with laughter and the music of fiddles. In truth, there was no other place he'd rather be.

Billy had done a fairly good job at avoiding Ben since their little conversation the day before. If one could even call it that. More accurately, he had talked while Billy tried not to swallow his tongue before finally managing to make an escape. But now Ben stood not more than just a few feet from him, tankard in hand and leaning back against the mast as he laughed at one of the men's lewd jokes. One he had heard from Silver, no doubt. Still, Billy was too drunk to care. Too far in the whiskey haze to be embarrassed or to even conceal the way he now stared at the man. Alcohol was kind of wonderful in that sense. If you struggled to drown your thoughts, a tankard or four could certainly do it.

It was almost as if in those few hours Billy was back to his normal self. He gladly shared the company of his brothers, laughing unabashed when the urge struck him, and even sharing his own jokes that he had come across in their more recent travels. By the time the evening was almost spent he had even gone back to talking with Ben. It was almost as if what had occurred at the brothel was a forgotten memory. And with it, his own mess of conflicted emotions were not to be found. At least for a time his troublesome mind had at last grown silent. There was no war, no concern over Flint's progressively reckless plans, no conflict over his attraction to Ben. Everything was as it should be.

Until Ben kissed him.

By the time the last of the lanterns had all but burned out, half the crew was stumbling drunk. The other half had already had the good sense to retire to their hammocks and get what sleep they could. Both Billy and Ben belonged to the former group. For the first time in quite a while Billy had let loose. And while he knew he would certainly regret it come morning, at this point he couldn't find it in himself to regret it. He needed the sense of normalcy, even if it was fabricated by the contents of a bottle. Or several. In truth, he had no idea how much he actually had to drink. But based on his stumbling steps, it was perhaps too much.

Still, Billy had enough of his wits about him to be able to assist Ben below deck. The man had apparently forgotten how to use the muscles in his legs, and so Billy all but carried him below with an arm slung across his shoulders. The man was fairly light, that wasn't the issue. The only difficulty he found was keeping his own footsteps straight so as to not trip and crush the man. When he voiced these concerns Ben barely fought the urge to laugh. It was a light, musical sound, and all at once he found that desire building within him once more. Billy exhales sharply through his nose, biting down on his tongue to keep his mind steady as he assisted the man to his hammock. However, once he had Ben didn't seem to want to relinquish his hold.

And then suddenly those lips covered his own.

Billy's mind completely stalled at the sudden contact. It took several moments for him to fully comprehend what was happening, and once he had the second nature of his own response baffled him. Fingers wound themselves tightly in Ben's hair as he pulled him ever closer. A tongue ran along Billy's bottom lip in encouragement and he immediately yielded, their lips parting to give way to teeth and tongue. The fingernails that bit into his chest sent sparks of pleasure up his spine. God, Ben tasted just as he imagined he would. His lips were shockingly soft and the push of his tongue made his eyes fall shut so that he could better focus on the sensations.

Billy's hands shifted to cradle the man's jaw, a thumb stroking over the stubble as he tilted his head upwards. Their lips came together again and again. Ben had allowed his own hands to wander, stroking over a bicep before moving down his chest. When those fingers hooked in the front of his trousers and gave a desperate tug, he immediately broke their contact. Billy took a large step back as he looked down at the man with wide eyes. Ben was casting him a rather curious look. His pupils had begun to dilate, and he was unsure if the flush in his cheeks was from their kissing or the liquor. Without another word Billy stepped passed him and went back up on deck.

* * *

"I should apologize."

Billy exhaled softly through his nose before turning to the man. The ship had set sail a little before noon, and while the tasks of running the ship had kept them busy enough for a while, he knew it was sooner or later before the man confronted him. They leaned against the far side of the quarterdeck, far from any prying eyes. To his surprise, Ben seemed just as uncomfortable as he was. He wasn't quite sure how that was even possible.

Ben fidgeted slightly with the hem of his shirt as he continued. His voice had dropped to a notably lower notch. "I.. misread the situation, I guess. The way you've been staring at me lately. I thought, perhaps, you wanted me." He held up his hands then, as if worried about angering him. "But, I get it. I was wrong, and I'm sorry."  
  
"Wait... What?" Billy asked. His tone was incredulous and he was sure that in this moment his expression matched. "You have feelings for me?"

Ben reached back to scratch the nape of his neck. "Well... yes," he admitted. As if this should have been a painfully obvious fact. "I know how to run a ship, Billy. And if what you've said of Mr. Silver is any indication, he's much more reliable than you when it comes to figuring out the crew." Apparently Billy's expression still conveyed confusion for he elaborated. "I've been sticking to your hip because I wanted to spend more time with you."

Billy's lips were parted, his brow furrowed as his mind whirled around this information. "You have feelings for me...?" he repeated slowly.

Ben leaned further against the rail and arched a brow. "Are you still hungover?" he asked carefully.

Despite himself the bosun managed a chuckle and shook his head. "No, I'm just.. surprised, is all." he gave another shake of his head as he thought out his next words. "I'm not used... to this," he said, gesturing with his hands.

"What, talking?" He could tell from the tone alone that he was smug.

Billy laughed. "No. Experiencing.. feelings for someone. It's new to me, and with how drunk we were last night, I didn't want to..." He dared to glance at Ben and was relieved to see that the man was smiling.

"So you..?"

"Yes."

Ben's smile only widened. Turning against the rail completely, he leaned forward to look out over the ocean waves. "So where exactly does that leave us?" he asked after several moments. Silence had settled between them in that moment, but it was a comfortable quiet. It was as if any tension had suddenly been lifted after the admittance of their mutual interest.

Without realizing it, Billy had begun to wring his hands as he thought. "You'd have to be patient with me," he warned softly. "Take it slow."

Ben nodded as if the request was nothing at all. "I can do that," assured him. "Besides," he continued, now smiling wryly, "If your stature and the size of your hands are any indication, it will definitely be worth the wait."

"Jesus, Ben, _please_."


End file.
